The Regressor's Guide to Conquering the Urban Legend Tower

Chapter 18 of 25

Chapter 18

How a Regressor Conquers the Tower of Urban Legends

Chapter 18

I had been terribly depressed.

After all, ever since arriving here, I hadn't been able to rest properly.

No matter how much Floor 0.5 was supposed to be a place of relaxation, my mind had steadily been wearing down.

Anyone would feel the same if they were thrown into hell, forced to die and come back to life repeatedly, and expected to overcome one nightmare after another.

I desperately needed to recover from my exhaustion.

I wanted to laugh sincerely.

I wanted to experience genuine happiness.

Yes.

I had been depressed.

But things were different now.

"Ahaha! Ahahah!"

A feeling of complete satisfaction welled up from deep inside my heart.

Simply standing here brought me joy.

Happiness overflowed from me, as though I were walking on clouds.

I smiled brightly and met the eyes of the employee, who was gently holding me back as though begging me not to leave.

Where would I even go?

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

Why would I ever leave such a wonderful place?

The café employee quietly looked at me.

Then it nodded kindly.

Perhaps my sincerity had reached it, because the employee released my hand.

Even though I couldn't see its face, I knew it was smiling.

I smiled back and turned my head.

For a moment, I felt something tapping me.

But it lasted only briefly.

With a sound like wind blowing, the sensation disappeared entirely.

"Well, then. Where should I go?"

The employee spread both arms wide.

"Ah, of course. What a foolish question. Naturally, I can get coffee in the main hall."

What a silly thing to ask.

I chuckled and started walking.

I passed through the short storage room and opened the door to the hall.

Jingle!

The sound of a bell rang out.

A warm scene appeared before me.

Sunlight filled the cozy café hall.

There weren't many customers.

I examined them one by one.

A man with three eyes raised a hand to greet me.

Upon closer inspection...

That wasn't his hand.

He was raising his foot to greet me.

How rude of me. I nearly made a terrible mistake.

I raised my own foot and returned his greeting.

After confirming that he was smiling happily, I looked elsewhere.

There was someone with the body of a mannequin.

No.

If he had a mannequin's body, could I really call him a person?

But he was definitely a person.

After all, the head attached to the mannequin was human.

Blood occasionally trickled from the place where his neck met the mannequin's artificial skin, but he didn't seem particularly bothered by it.

Perhaps he'd noticed me looking.

With a creaking sound, the mannequin-bodied person's head turned toward me.

He looked slightly surprised.

Then he chuckled, as though he'd seen something amusing.

But only for a moment.

He quickly turned his head away, apparently having lost interest.

Maybe he doesn't like me.

If that was the case, there was no reason to upset him.

Perhaps I should inform the others.

Smiling gently, I took out the notebook and began writing.

[150. The fewer customers there are, the better. It means you can enjoy your coffee.]

[150. The customer with the mannequin's body doesn't seem particularly interested in talking to me. There's no reason to bother him.]

Manners were extremely important in a café, after all.

I carefully put the notebook away and looked ahead.

An employee approached and handed me a menu.

I examined it.

[Americano]

[Espresso]

[Café Latte]

[Cappuccino]

[Condensed Milk Coffee]

What should I drink?

Something resembling a soft mascot's hand kept appearing in front of the menu, obscuring it.

But whenever I blinked a few times, it disappeared.

So it wasn't particularly important.

What should I order?

I probably wouldn't get many opportunities to drink coffee somewhere like this.

Let's order something strong.

Oh, look at that.

How fascinating.

Every time I opened my mouth to order an espresso, I felt a soft mascot's hand covering it.

Yet there was nothing actually covering my mouth.

I pushed the invisible hand aside and spoke.

"Excuse me. One espres—"

Riiing!

A cheerful sound rang from my pocket.

Who was calling me at such an important moment?

Ordering a single cup of coffee was proving surprisingly difficult.

Unable to conceal my irritation, I looked at the phone.

It was my old flip phone.

If I remembered correctly, this phone was supposed to ring when I was in danger.

Did that mean I was currently in danger?

Why would I be?

If anything, I felt safer than I'd ever felt before.

Thinking that, I glanced at the employee.

After all, it felt a little rude to take a phone call in such a lovely café.

The employee met my gaze and nodded.

It didn't even have a face.

And yet I somehow knew it was nodding to tell me that answering the phone was perfectly fine.

What a wonderful café.

They even allowed customers to take calls inside.

Whoever was calling had better have something extremely useful to tell me.

I flipped open the phone and answered.

"Hello?"

The first thing I heard was a sigh.

If anyone should be calling something ridiculous, it was me.

I knew this phone was supposed to be helpful.

But right now, my irritation at having my pleasant coffee break interrupted came first.

"I was just about to order coffee. You're the one who suddenly called me, so isn't it rather rude to speak to me like that?"

<Rude? What's ridiculous is your brain and your recklessness. You planned this far ahead and actually went through with eating a coffee bean.>

How rude.

I hadn't stuffed myself with coffee beans.

I'd merely tasted one.

I was about to correct him when...

His voice rang through my ear.

There was a strange force behind those words.

Even though I wasn't particularly fond of this man's attitude, I found myself seriously considering ordering a condensed milk latte.

But there was a problem.

"Listen. They don't have condensed milk lattes."

I looked at the menu again.

[Condensed Milk Coffee]

[Café Latte]

There was condensed milk coffee.

And there was café latte.

But there was no such thing as a condensed milk latte.

He was already interrupting my precious coffee time, and now he was recommending something that wasn't even on the menu.

I pointed this out in a firm voice.

The person on the other end fell silent.

Then he sighed again.

<It's a hidden menu item. Quite famous among the regular customers, in fact.>

There was a hidden menu?

His rough voice seemed to shake my thoughts.

After hesitating briefly...

"...One condensed milk latte, please."

I finally decided to follow the phone's advice.

A hidden menu item.

Honestly, when would I ever get another chance to enjoy such delicious coffee in a place like this?

I should enjoy it while I could.

I watched the employee slowly move away after taking my order.

Then I listened to the voice coming through the phone again.

Does that mean I'm not actually in danger?

The thought briefly crossed my mind.

But it was quickly buried beneath my happiness.

Danger?

What a ridiculous idea.

I wasn't in danger.

If anything, I was more clearheaded than ever.

I looked around again.

The man with three eyes was reading a newspaper without paying any attention to me.

And the person with the mannequin's body...

"..."

He was staring directly at me.

Should I say something to him?

I was about to open my mouth when...

"Shh."

The mannequin-bodied person raised an index finger to his lips.

Then he smiled, stood up, left his empty cup behind, and walked away.

Toward a door in the center.

"...?"

A door in the center?

Had there been a door there?

If I remembered correctly, the only doors had been on the left and right.

I felt strangely frustrated as I waited.

Soon, the employee returned carrying a steaming cup of coffee.

A quick glance revealed milk, cream, and even condensed milk.

Calling the resulting liquid coffee was almost embarrassing.

Still...

"..."

I decided to drink it.

It was a hidden menu item popular among regular customers.

Surely there had to be a reason for that.

I took a sip.

"...Ugh."

The sweetness was on an entirely different level.

I couldn't help grimacing.

It tasted as though someone had added five sugar cubes to condensed milk, simmered it slowly, and then mixed in a single drop of coffee.

In other words...

There was absolutely no coffee flavor.

This is a hidden menu item?

Maybe it was hidden because nobody actually wanted to drink it.

Still, it would be rude to the employee who had prepared it if I left it unfinished.

Thinking that, I emptied the entire cup of liquid that could barely be called coffee.

I rubbed my uncomfortably full stomach.

Then doubts slowly began surfacing.

Hadn't an employee been holding me captive just a moment ago?

Then why am I sitting here drinking coffee?

It felt as though someone had poured cold water directly into my mind.

Like waking from an incredibly happy dream, remembering what happened, and suddenly realizing how bizarre the entire dream had been.

I slowly turned my head.

The man with three eyes was still reading his newspaper.

No.

More precisely, he was pretending to read it.

After all, there wasn't a single word printed on the paper.

He merely flipped the blank pages.

All three of his eyes were fixed on one thing.

Me.

"..."

I slowly looked away.

I didn't need to be particularly intelligent to understand.

I mustn't let him notice.

More precisely...

I mustn't let him realize that I'm afraid of him.

I swallowed hard and turned my attention elsewhere.

It was a plan I'd come up with myself, but everything had gone so smoothly that it almost felt unsettling.

Something soft tapped my back.

"..."

I slowly turned around.

The mascot stood there with both hands raised, as though asking whether I'd finally noticed it.

There wasn't time to explain anything right now.

I slowly stood and checked my empty cup.

"Thank you for the drink."

The employee quietly looked at me.

And before it could respond...

CRASH!

I kicked open the door directly ahead and sprinted outside.

A long corridor stretched before me.

The mascot was already running beside me.

"I knew it would work!"

I spoke while running as fast as I could.

"Drinking the coffee doesn't kill you immediately!"

"!"

The fifth floor was different from the others.

I'd been able to figure that out from the notebook's records.

The dead couldn't speak.

Conversely, those who weren't dead could continue leaving records.

That was why the people who had drunk the coffee had still been able to write in the notebook.

I'd built my plan around that fact.

Drinking the coffee allowed you to see things that were normally invisible.

Then I reasoned that it might also reveal paths that the people who had come before me hadn't discovered.

I'd intended to use this method only if I was caught.

I hadn't expected to actually get caught and be forced to follow through with it.

But this was a method only I could use.

"It was really fortunate that I trusted the phone."

"..."

The effect of my flip phone had made this possible.

Once per floor, it provided advice that was guaranteed to help me.

For some reason, the mascot seemed to be giving off a slightly sulky atmosphere.

But I couldn't think of any reason it would be upset, so I continued.

"The flip phone gave me the answer."

Guaranteed helpful advice.

No matter how bad the situation became, the phone could provide one piece of advice capable of producing the best possible result.

I hadn't expected it to work this well, though.

What if the plan had failed?

Then I would've died.

Simple as that.

I'd explained the plan so many times to the mascot on Floor 0.5 that its ears should have been ringing.

That was why it had continued desperately trying to wake me up, even when I couldn't recognize it.

It was a crazy method.

But I had no choice except to make use of the resources available to me.

Even if the resource happened to be my own life.

While running, I took out the notebook and began writing in crooked letters.

[150. Take one coffee bean with you.]

[150. If you have considered every possible option and still cannot find an answer, eat the coffee bean.]

[150. You must order a condensed milk latte.]

[150. The consequences of drinking any other beverage are unknown.]

Tap-tap-tap!

Rapid footsteps echoed behind us.

Something was chasing us.

At the same moment, the mascot hoisted me onto its shoulder and began running.

Once again, I entrusted my body to it.

It was a division of labor.

I used my brain.

The mascot used its strength.

Perfect teamwork.

Despite the little squeaking sounds its costume made, the mascot ran at an incredible speed.

I looked ahead while bouncing on its shoulder.

Sure enough...

An elevator.

As though we'd rehearsed it, the mascot threw itself forward.

THUD!

We practically flew into the elevator together.

"The door!"

I quickly positioned myself and pressed the close button.

The doors began shutting with a mechanical sound.

"...Phew."

I let out a breath of relief.

But only for a moment.

"!!!"

I suddenly jumped to my feet.

The mascot stared at me as though I'd lost my mind.

"I didn't die!"

"?"

It looked at me as if asking what nonsense I was talking about.

But I couldn't stop shouting.

"I DIDN'T DIE!"

That's right.

For the first time...

I'd cleared an entire floor without dying even once.

In this insane building, I'd finally cleared a floor without a single death!

"...?"

I ignored the mascot as it tilted its head and looked around.

Inside the ascending elevator, I noticed something I hadn't seen before.

A mannequin's hand had been placed inside.

I recognized it.

It belonged to the person I'd drunk coffee with.

No.

Calling it a person probably wasn't appropriate.

It was a mannequin's hand, after all.

Something had been written on it, along with a set of incomprehensible coordinates.

[You are invited to Floor N−1.]

Floor N?

I'd heard that somewhere before.

Ah, right.

It was in the guide on Floor 0.5.

[1. No beings exist here other than the visitor and their companion. If you discover anything else, do not respond to it under any circumstances. There is a high probability you will be dragged to Floor N.]

Cold sweat immediately ran down my back.

Ding!

The elevator stopped sooner than I'd expected.

The doors opened.

An art museum appeared before me.

I instinctively raised the notebook and opened it.

[9. Kill yourself.]

A drop of cold sweat fell to the floor.