Chapter 13
After completely cleaning out Topu’s bundle, I felt like I owned the entire world.
And I had even obtained a Mythic item.
In the center of the village square, a brand-new iron pot proudly sat above the bonfire.
Not that old dented pot full of cracks anymore.
The barbarians gathered around it.
Their curious eyes moved between the shining new pot and me.
I couldn’t stop humming inside my head.
My poor little barbarians had spent so long eating nothing but potatoes boiled in plain water without even salt.
They had basically been forced onto a diet.
Of course, their blessed barbarian genetics somehow prevented them from losing any muscle.
Anyway...
Tonight, big brother was going to show them heaven.
Still... these ingredients are terrible.
My enthusiasm was high.
My ingredients were not.
The only seasoning Topu carried was salt made from crushed rock salt.
No pepper.
No herbs.
Not even ordinary cooking oil.
Maybe that was natural.
Why would he carry those things when the barbarians would never buy them?
At least I managed to get proper cooking tools.
I happily looked at my new equipment.
A well-balanced butcher’s knife.
A thick wooden cutting board.
A wide iron spatula and ladle.
There were also crude but usable wooden spoons and bundles of forks.
This was the perfect opportunity to teach table manners to barbarians who had always eaten with their hands.
Actually, barbarians didn’t know how to use eating utensils.
Or perhaps they had simply never felt the need.
Why would they?
They either burn meat over fire and tear it apart, or drink watery soup straight from the bowl.
There had been no proper cooking techniques.
No proper ingredients.
Naturally, they had never needed proper utensils.
So the ingredients are potatoes, salt, rabbit, and small amounts of meat from unidentified animals.
There were many limitations.
The meat was too tough to simply grill.
If I boiled it, the flavor would be weak.
How could I produce the best possible taste with such poor ingredients?
I thought for a while.
Then one of the basic truths of cooking entered my mind.
Right.
If I don’t have oil, I can make it.
I opened the sack of salt beside the cooking area.
I placed a single grain of coarse salt on my tongue.
What the hell?!
Every hair on my body seemed to stand up.
After so long without any seasonings whatsoever, my body reacted violently to the powerful stimulation of salt.
The grain melted.
The salty taste slammed directly into my taste buds.
Adrenaline surged through my body.
“Ghhhh...”
I couldn’t help groaning.
Since when had salt tasted this good?!
Then...
“Um... Shaman.”
A quiet voice came from behind me.
I turned around.
Topu stood there awkwardly.
His giant bundle was tied firmly back together.
“I’ve finished everything here, right? I gave you all the goods and...”
He smiled nervously.
“I was thinking I should probably leave now...”
Trying to escape?
Not a chance.
I could read his thoughts through his eyes.
I’m never coming back to this horrible place.
He tried to hide it, but I recognized that rebellious gaze.
It looked exactly like the expression of kitchen assistants who worked one day washing dishes and disappeared the next morning.
“I cannot simply let you leave.”
“Eek! I-I’m sorry! Please spare me! I won’t tell anyone...”
“According to the chief, you are an important merchant of our tribe.”
I smiled gently while heating the iron pot.
My eyes remained wide open.
“Eat before you leave.”
“...Yes.”
I stabbed the butcher’s knife into the cutting board.
Thud.
Whatever Topu had been muttering disappeared.
He quietly lowered his bundle and sat in a corner with a deep sigh.
If I sent him away while he was still angry, he really might never return.
I couldn’t afford to lose an A-Rank merchant who would become my excellent slave...
No.
My useful business partner.
But I wasn’t worried.
He might look harmless, but the blood of a future great merchant flowed through him.
A merchant knew how to recognize value.
If he tasted my cooking today...
And understood the true value of these potatoes...
He’ll probably be the one begging me for business.
Chuckling inwardly, I began cooking for my hungry little barbarians.
First, I placed the rabbit and other meat on the cutting board.
Then I picked up the butcher’s knife.
Understanding ingredients was the foundation of cooking.
Since I didn’t have cooking oil, I needed to use the fat attached to the meat.
Tap-tap-tap!
My knife moved quickly.
I separated the lean meat from the fatty parts.
The barbarians, who normally just cut meat into random chunks before burning or boiling it, stared in amazement.
“Ooooh!”
Their innocent reactions made me straighten my shoulders proudly.
I finely chopped the white pieces of fat and tossed them into the heated iron pot.
SSSSSSS!
White smoke rose.
The fat melted with a cheerful sizzling sound.
Thanks to the iron pot’s excellent heat conduction, it quickly turned into liquid.
A rich, savory smell spread through the air.
“Gulp.”
I heard people swallowing everywhere.
Even Topu, still sitting in the corner, began sniffing.
The bored expression on his face slowly disappeared.
Now... potatoes.
I peeled the D-Rank Potatoes.
Then I cut them into cubes about the size of my thumb.
I poured them into the hot animal fat.
SHHHHAAAA!
Oil and moisture met with an explosive sound.
This was the trick.
I wasn’t boiling the potatoes in water.
I was practically frying them in animal fat.
Ever had fries, barbarians?
I laughed and continuously stirred the potatoes using the iron spatula.
Their pale surfaces slowly became golden as they met the hot oil.
The Maillard reaction.
The wonderful moment when heat transformed carbohydrates and proteins into delicious color and aroma.
Once the outside of the potatoes became crisp...
I added the sliced lean meat.
The outside quickly cooked, sealing in the juices.
Then I grabbed a handful of coarse salt.
I rubbed it between my fingers and scattered it evenly over the pot like falling snow.
Tap. Tap-tap.
Salt grains bounced against the hot iron.
The salt mixed with the meat fat and the potatoes’ natural sweetness.
Perfect seasoning.
Done.
My special Iron-Pot Meat-Fat Fried Potatoes!
“Done! It’s ready!”
The barbarians roared happily and tried to rush toward the pot.
CLANG!
“Everyone stop.”
I struck the side of the pot with the ladle.
They froze and stared blankly.
“From today onward, you do not eat with your hands.”
I pointed with my chin.
Wooden bowls and fork-shaped utensils from Topu were waiting nearby.
“What is this?”
“Hands easier!”
Complaints immediately appeared.
Even Zakan held a small fork in confusion.
Haa...
I cleared my throat.
Then solemnly announced,
“The ancestor god spoke.”
Everyone instantly focused.
“A civilized barbarian who knows how to use tools is a much stronger warrior.”
“Ancestor god...?”
“Correct.”
I nodded seriously.
“Anyone who refuses to use a fork receives no potatoes.”
Their attitudes instantly changed.
“I am civilized barbarian. I do not eat with hand.”
“I use fork! Give food!”
Malko gripped his fork like a dagger and held out his wooden bowl.
Simple idiots.
Holding back a laugh, I filled everyone’s bowls with golden potatoes and meat.
I also gave Topu a generous portion.
“Eat.”
Once I gave permission, the barbarians awkwardly stabbed their food with forks and placed it in their mouths.
Watching enormous men use tiny forks like toothpicks was strangely adorable.
And then...
“...!”
